Ladies and Gentlemen, the unbelievable has happened.
The world will no longer remain the same.
The End is now definitely near.
Rameez Raja's legendary powers to irritate almost any mass of the human population - in multiple languages, with equal dexterity - is very well-known. When one would begin to think that these powers couldn't grow any further, the impossible was realised. Raja has now also absorbed Ravi Shastri's highly acclaimed fetish for cliches as well. This was confirmed when watching Michael Hussey's onslaught on the bedraggled Kings XI Punjab in Chennai last Thursday, the Pakistani commentator shot 'tracer-bullets' every time Hussey scored a boundary. Once the audience was relieved that this would stop following Hussey's dismissal, Suresh Raina took charge and started firing, resulting in bright 'Flashes' of 'Full Monties' and more 'tracer-bullets from Raja. A shell-shocked audience watched as the already irritating voice started 'Shastrifying' the audience with cliches. Thousands of television sets were switched off and fans desperately turned to sports information websites like ESPNcricinfo to protect themselves and their families from the hazardous words coming from the Chepauk Stadium.
Speaking in the time that his slow net connection was updating the scores, Pareshan Kumar, a die hard IPL (cheerleaders) fan spoke to CB news, saying,."Now what will I do. I have to 'Whistle podu' looking at the cricinfo scores. No more cheerleaders with a connection as slow as this." Reaching out to the millions of affected television audiences, even eminent commentator Harsha Bhogle appealed for a no-commentary option for viewers.
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| An Emphatic Rameez Raja |
Meanwhile, an over-ecstatic Shastri could not even contain himself as he ripped the mike out of this CB News anchor's hands and went on shouting, "This is just what the doctor ordered. This news from the center has just made my spirits take the aerial route. It was previously known that no-one can tackle Rameez. He was infallible. Knowing that I have influenced him is a matter of great honour. I thought he was the most powerful irritant humanity has ever seen.
From the commentary box our words will now flash and flash hard and give the audiences all the action live from the center." Not stopping Unable to stop there, he went on speaking about the possibility of no-commentary options for viewers, saying, "At this stage though all three results are possible. But we are dealing with expert commentaries here. Nothing can replace that. I am sure, however, that in the end, Cricket will be the winner!" he signed off with a flourish. There was a hint of a tear in his right eye as he finished his joyful statement.
Anup (name not changed) could not hide his shock at this development,
"This is almost like an evil version of the Fusion saga in Dragonball Z.
How could they even do this? I thought that with Rameez Raja, humanity had
surpassed itself in producing irritants. Who would have known that like the
Hindu mythological King Bali, this guy could absorb half of the strengths of
his opponents co-irritants. I hope Harsha Bhogle's no commentary option
is made available at the earliest."
When asked about it, Rameez Raja did not exhibit any emotions as he said,
"This is no big deal for me. In fact, this is an opportunity for me to
rise up to the challenge of keeping up the standards of both Ravi and my own
self. I assure you that this is going to be interesting. In the end, Cricket is
the winner!"
