Test Defeat never Actually Happened, says Dhoni

In a ground-breaking Press Statement shortly before the Indo-Pak T20 match in Bangalore, MS Dhoni said that India's alleged Whitewash at the hands of Australia and England in back-to-back series never really happened, questioning the journalists perception of reality. He said that this is all a big dream, and that we will wake up to face a new and resurgent team India.
These statements are believed to be inspired by Congress leader Digvijay Singh's latest rant statement that the alleged scams under the UPA government never really happened.

Indian Captain MS Dhoni, during the Press conference

'That the Indian team was beaten ruthlessly abroad is an allegation which is being brought by critics to downgrade the good efforts the team has been striving to keep up its form. The public will wake up to reality and see that we are back to our winning ways' Dhoni said with confidence.
All the journalists immediately pulled out their totems and twirled them to check whether the statement was true.
Later that day, after the match, Dhoni's managers said that the captain was very busy and hence was unavailable for comments.
Dhoni's pre-match statement led to mixed reactions in the public, which eventually gave rise to factions and resulted in a violent clash between them. The local police unsuccessfully tried to restore peace.
At the end of the day, protestors and police were seen at different bars along MG Road enjoying bottles of beer together. The totems were reported missing following the mob violence. The press has gone into a limbo state ever since.

Some of the reporters' Totems, which were lost after the press meet.

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh was rumored to have released a press statement saying 'Sab kuch theek hai and that 'The government will take appropriate action against the accused.'

Dhoni Relieved following Misbah's Statement

Indian Captain M S Dhoni happily expressed his confidence that India will comfortably defend its Asia Cup Title next week in Bangladesh in a press conference here in Ranchi after his Pakistan counterpart Misbah-Ul-Haq released his press statement before the tournament opener.

Misbah said that 'he was confident of performing well'. Responding to which Dhoni said, "Everybody, including Misbah knows what he means by 'performing well'. Yuvraj may have had a role in our 2007 T20 World Cup victory, but it is an open secret that the real champion for our side was Misbah. He had 'played very well' then also. He has 'played very well' recently also. You want proof of this? England won the ODI series against Pak 4-0. Who do you think is the actual Man of the Series?"

It is well known that the very presence of Misbah-Ul-Haq inspires Pakistan's opponents to such an extent that they win from even the most hopeless situations, as Dhoni recalls his own experience.
"I mean, even a blind man would not dare to hit the same shot consecutively, even more so after he hears me positioning a man in the direction of his previous shot. But Misbah is a class apart.
Who would show a face-palm expression after a World Cup victory? Thanks to Misbah I had such a rare opportunity.

Anyway, now that we have Misbah's assurance of 'performing well', I can sleep peacefully now. With such a team, Whatmore can be expected?"

On being questioned whether the comment was aimed towards the Pakistan coach, Dhoni refused to comment.

Dhoni signed off hoping that Sachin gets his hundredth hundred sometime this month.

Gyaan Unplugged 5..... Discussions with Gyaani Legends

     “John Dillinger is a very well known name. He was a bank robber. He would show the gun towards    the teller. The teller, out of fear of life, would give him THAT.” (What?)
(Looks at the pin-drop-silent class, stunned at how they could not grasp such a beautiful example of carrying a task out)


       (Continues…) “Another famous bank robber would only rob banks. (WOW, sir!)
       In an INTERVIEW (not an interrogation), he said “I only rob banks because there lies the money.”
                                                                         - Uninterrupted Flow of Gyaan in a Class